Mga Kamokongan

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Paano sabihin ang "Mahal kita" sa 100 na linguahe. =)

Filipino - Mahal kita
Afrikaans – Ek het jou lief
Albanian – Te dua
Arabic – Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic – Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian – Yes kez sirumen
Bambara – M’bi fe
Bangla – Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian – Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya – Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian – Obicham te
Cambodian – Bong Salang Oun ([ to a female ])
Cambodian - Oun Salang Bong([ to Male])
Cantonese Chinese – Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan – T’estimo
Cheyenne – Ne mohotatse
Chichewa – Ndimakukonda
Corsican – Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol – Mi aime jou
Croatian – Volim te
Czech – Miluji te
Danish – Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch – Ik hou van jou
English - I love you
Esperanto – Mi amas vin
Estonian – Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian – Afgreki’
Faroese – Eg elski teg
Farsi – Doset daram
Finnish – Mina rakastan sinua
French – Je t’aime, Je t’adore
Frisian – Ik hâld fan dy
Gaelic – Ta gra agam ort
Georgian – Mikvarhar
German – Ich liebe dich
Greek – S’agapo
Gujarati – Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon – Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian – Aloha Au Ia`oe (Thanks Craig)
Hebrew – Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew – Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon – Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi – Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong – Kuv hlub koj
Hopi – Nu’ umi unangwa’ta
Hungarian – Szeretlek
Icelandic – Eg elska tig
Ilonggo – Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian – Saya cinta padamu
Inuit – Negligevapse
Irish – Taim i’ ngra leat
Italian – Ti amo
Japanese – Aishiteru
Kannada – Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan – Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili – Nakupenda
Konkani – Tu magel moga cho
Korean – Sarang Heyo
Latin – Te amo
Latvian – Es tevi miilu
Lebanese – Bahibak
Lithuanian – Tave myliu
Malay – Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam – Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese – Wo ai ni
Marathi – Me tula prem karto
Mohawk – Kanbhik
Moroccan – Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl – Ni mits neki
Navaho – Ayor anosh’ni
Norwegian – Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan – Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan – Inaru Taka
Papiamento – Mi ta stimabo
Persian – Doo-set daaram
Latin – Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish – Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese – Eu te amo
Romanian – Te iubesc
Russian – Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic – Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian – Volim te
Setswana – Ke a go rata
Sign Language – „,/ (represents position of fingers when signing’I Love You’)
Sindhi – Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux – Techihhila
Slovak – Lu`bim ta
Slovenian – Ljubim te
Spanish – Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili – Ninapenda wewe
Swedish – Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German – Ich lieb Di
Tagalog – Mahal kita
Taiwanese – Wa ga ei li
Tahitian – Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil – Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu – Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai – Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai – Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish – Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian – Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu – mai aap say pyaar karta hoo (the best way )
Vietnamese – Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese – Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh – ‘Rwy’n dy garu di
Yiddish – Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba – Mo ni fe

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The latest iPone 4G



This is latest iPhone 4G cool gadgets product are presenting high advance and conceptual future from another similar cool gadgets product because this is representing much reliable and remarkable future from another similar cool gadgets  product and this iPhone 4G cool gadgets product is not more expensive from another similar cool gadgets product, really amazing.  These iPhone 4G cool gadgets products is based on high advance conceptual technology and whole part of body this iPhone 4G cool gadgets product is really amazing and based on high unique designing.  Apple iPhone is a type of device and that could be a bigger iPod Touch cool gadgets product with a bigger screen but the same WiFi connectivity to the present and this cool gadgets product concept taken to maximum expression future and user knowledge that some are already getting in another terminals on market. And the Apple iPhone 4G cool gadgets product is a next generation iPhone gadgets and concept by Orgutcayli and below representing concept and another extra future:

• 80GB or 120GB flash drive

• Widescreen 1540-by-480-pixel resolution at 163 ppi


Camera with 8.0 megapixels


• Video recording


• Text editing with copy/paste
 

• MMS messaging
 

Adobe Flash Player

Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Married Life

Before Marriage
 
Boy: Yes at last. it was so hard to wait.
 
Girl: Do you want me to leave?
 
Boy: No, Don't even think about it.
 
Girl: Do you love me?
 
Boy: Of course, over and over.
 
Girl: Have you ever cheated n me?
 
Boy: No! Why are you even asking?
 
Girl: Will you kiss me?
 
Boy: Every chance I get.
 
Girl: Will you hit me?
 
Boy: Are you crazy? I'm not that kind of person!
 
Girl: Can I trust you?
 
Boy: Yes!
 
Girl: Oh darling.

AFTER MARRIAGE.
READ FROM BOTTOM TO TOP!

BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

______________________________


Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that’s not a problem

kmzrtl.tumblr.com

Monday, September 13, 2010

THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS

Stage #1 - Smart - This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject. You know all and greatly wish to express this knowledge to anyone who will listen.  At this stage you are also always right.  And of course the person you are talking with is very wrong.  You will talk for hours trying to convince someone that you are right. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are “smart”.  Two people talking, in fact, arguing about a subject neither one really knows anything about, but are convinced that they are they complete authority on the subject makes for great entertainment for those get the opportunity to listen in.

Stage #2 - Handsome/Pretty - This is when you are convinced that you are the best looking person in the entire room and everyone is looking at you.  You begin to wink at perfect strangers and ask them to dance because of course they had been admiring you the whole evening.  You are the center of attention, and all eyes are directed at you because you are the most beautiful thing on the face of the earth.  Now keep in mind that you are still smart, so you can talk to this person who has been admiring you about any and all subjects under the sun.

Stage #3 - Rich - This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar and put it on your bill because you surely have an armored truck full of your money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets in this stage.  Now of course you still know all, so you will always win all your bets.  And you have no concern for how much money you bet because you have all the money in the world. You will also begin to buy drinks for all the people in the bar who are admiring you because you are now the smartest, prettiest, and richest person on the face of the earth.

Stage #4 - Bulletproof - You can now pick fights with the people you have been betting money with because you cannot be hurt by anything. At this point you would go up to the boyfriend of the woman who had been admiring your beautiful self all evening and challenge him to a battle of wits for money. You have no worry about losing this battle of wits because you know all, have all the money to cover this bet, and you obviously win a fight that might erupt if he looses.

Stage #5  - Invisible - This is the final stage of drunkenness.  At this point you can do absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything of it because they can’t see you.  All your social inhibitions are gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.

Mga Paboritong Pagkaing Kalye ng Mokong

Fishballs. Ang pagkaing walang karapatang magmahal since 1987. Hehe. Mula pa noong kabataan ko ay ito na ang paborito kong street food sa lahat.Bukod sa mura na, mapapamura ka pa sa sarap! Hanggang sa nagkaedad ako, paborito ko pa rin ito at ng karamihan sa mga Pinoy. Masarap ito kung masarap din ang sauce. Marami na ring nagbebenta nito maski sa mga malalaking malls at restaurants ngunit iba pa rin kapag sa kalye mo ito kinakain, mas mokong mas masaya. =)

Betamax. Ito ang street food na bawal sa mga Iglesia at mga Saksi. May paniniwala kasi sila na hindi paniniwala ng karamihan sa mga mokong na kagaya ko. Masarap ito kapag isinasawsaw sa suka na may sibuyas at kalamnsi, hehe. Karaniwang makikita mo ito sa suking barbeque stand sa may mga kanto. =)
Isaw. Naku naman, sino nga ba naman ang hindi nakakakilala rito. Ito ay gawa sa bituka ng manok o ng baboy. May kakaibang lasa ito na parang creamy na siyang edge niya sa lahat ng iba pang mga street foods. Ito rin halos ang pinakamura sa mga barbeque mula sa P3.00-P6.00 na persyo. =)


Siomai. Naku eh, sino ba namang di nakakakilala sa pagkaing kalye na to? Sikat na sikat na ito all over the country at medyo sosyal na siya ngayon dahil na-invade na rin niya ang mall (mas sosyal lang ng konti kay fishballs). Sumikat din ito dahil sa singer na si Jovit Baldivino. Gawa ito sa giniling na karne at binalot sa siomai wrapper. Masarap itong isawsaw sa toy na may kalamansi at konting anghang. =)

Kwek Kwek. Hindi ako sigurado kung saan derived ang pangalan nito pero men, masarap to. Gawa ito sa itlog ng pugo na binalot sa kulay orange na harina, hehe. Kadalasan mula dalawam piso hanggang tatlong piso ang presyo nito. Isinasawsaw ito sa suka o sa sauce. Bawal ito sa mga matataas ang kolesterol sa dugo dahil mas malakas ang kolesterol ng quail egg kesa sa ordinaryong itlog ng manok. =)

Shawarma. I would kill for it. Ito ang pinakapaborito ko sa lahat. Enough said. The picture will tell. =)

Sweet corn at Binatog. Para sa mga healthy-wise. Mais lamang ito, isang mabuting source ng carbo. Mabuti rin ito para sa mga umiiwas sa mga mamamantika at mauusok na pagkain gaya ng mga naunang nabanggit. =)

Taho. Kilalang kilala ng bawat pinoy kada umaga. Masarap at mainit. Perfect talaga kapag bagong gising. Mayroon na ding version nito ng strawberry flavor sa Siyudad ng Baguio.

Sorbetes at Halo-halo. Saktong saktong pampalamig sa napakainit na panahon ng summer. Matamis at refreshing at street food na ito. Well, bawal rin ito sa mga may diabetes hehe. Pero saktong sakto ito sa lahat ng panlasang pinoy. Maraming iba't ibang versions ang mga ito. Ito rin ang pinkamakulay sa laaht ng mga pagkaing kalye. =)

Marami rami pa sigurong mga pagkaing kalye ang di ko nabanggit. Sa sobrang dami, halos malulunod ka. Ganyan ang Pinas, laging may paraan. Imbis na gumastos ka sa mga mamahalin at class na reatawran, aba eh sa kalye ka na lang, mura na aba'y nakakabusog pa. =)

-MOKONG 

All photos courtesy of google.com 

I wonder what the magazine says.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Naranasan mo na bang mapahiya?

Ako, makailang beses na. Nariyan kang nadulas ako sa harap ng klase, nakita ako ni mommyna hubad natutulog sa sala, nahuli ako ni daddy doing something, lumobo yung sipon ko nung bata, nahulog na ako sa kanal nung elementary, umandar bigla yung jeep habang sumasakay ako, at aba, marami pang iba!

Kadalasan, nanlulumo tayo kapag pakiradam natin ay napahiya tayo sa harap ng iba o nang maraming tao. Ang tumatakbo madalas sa isip natin eh pinagtatawanan nila tayo, sinasabihan tayong "tanga" o kung anu-ano pa. Pero hindi naman lahat ganun, meron din yung ibang concerned talaga. Merong naaawa, merong nag-aalala. Yun nga lang, ang talaga nga namang tumatak na sa kukote natin ay maling katotohanang tayo nga ay pinagtatawanan. Hindi naman natin masisisi ang mga sarili natin dahil mula pa pagkabata sa sarili nating mga tahanan ay ganito na ang ating kinamulatan. At sa ating paglaki, habang tayo ay na-axpose na sa kamunduhan, laging ganito ang mga kaganapan. Nariyan kang may makikita ka na lang batang luhaan dahil naburot sa taguan. May batang nag aamok dahil pinagtawanan dahil natalisod sa daan. Pero hanggang kailan magiging ganito? Hanggang kailan natin mararamdaman ang hiya sa harap ng ibang tao?

Siguro dahil isa itong regalo mula sa taas na ang ibig lamang ipahiwatig ay hindi kahit kailanman laging sarap lang dapat nating maramdaman. Dapat siguro ay paminsan minsan nalalaman din nating hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon laging magagandang bagay lamng ang mangyayari sa atin. Itinuturo lamang nito na kapag sa atin din mangyayari ang bagay na pinagtatawanan natin, alam natin ang pakiramdam ng "napapahiya". Masakit, mahapdi, hindi nakakatuwa.

Sa pagkakataong ikaw naman ang mapahiya, alam mo na.

ERAP JOKES 101

THE WIFE
Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap, ‘I haven’t met your wife. Where is she?’
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, ‘Oh, my wife just passed away.’

CEASEFIRE
ERAP to MILF : Sumuko na kayo!
MILF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
ERAP : Tama na! Tuloy ang giyera.

AIR PRESSURE
Pa-landing na ang presidential plane. Napansin ng stewardess na parang sumasakit ang tenga ni President Erap dahil sa air pressure kaya lumapit ito.
‘Sir, chewing gum para hindi sumakit ang tenga ninyo sa flight,’ sabi ng stewardess.
Tinanggap ni Erap ang chewing gum. Ilang sandali pa, lumapag na ang eroplano. Kinausap ni Erap ang stewardess.
‘Miss, paano ko tatanggalin ang chewing gum sa tenga ko?’ tanong nito.

PASALOAD
ERAP: Loi, pasahan mo nga ako ng 2 my importante lang akong itetext. ~ LOI: (P2 send)
ERAP: (message received) OK!! got it thanks! ~
LOI: Tanga! wag ka ng magreply, Sayang!! ~
ERAP: ok!

INFORMATION
Erap: Hello, I will like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco ?
Operator: Just a minute sir…
Erap: Thank you! (klik).

English to French to Tagalog

Let’s learn French. Oui?
 
Note: There is no translation to Tagalog. But if you know Tagalog,
you would find it very funny especially some words and presumably
every Filipino knows who Joseph “Erap” Estrada, former president of
the Philippines, whom the intellectual community considers him as
“Bobo” for his carabao English and lack of educational attainment.


1. TURN – le coup
2. LITER – le true
3. BEHIND – le coud
4. ALMS – le mousse
5. FIVE – le ma
6 . FLY – le pad
7. DID NOT TAKE A BATH – le bag
8. CONFUSED – le tou
9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN – les pag
10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND – cou ma le wah
11. CITY – ce vou
12. DRUGS – sha vou
13. GOODBYE – va vou
14. MUSICAL BAND – com vou
15. BALD – cal vou
16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT – na vou coup, na coup!!
17. FEATHERS – valahe vou
18. UNCLEAR – ma la vou
19. SINK – lah va vou
20. COCONUT – vou coup
21. OPEN WIDE – vou camou
22. CIRCUMCISE – vou ratattouile
23. ALWAYS UP – va yagriah
24. YOU’RE HOT – le voug mou
25. WASHROOM – coup vaetta
26. JAIL – coup lou ngan
27. SUPER BOOBS – la que zõusõu
28. BUGER – cõup la ngõut
29. WOUNDS – va cõup cängh
30. BIG MOUTH – chez moussa
31. NAGGER – vou nga nguerrah
32. TADPOL – vou teiteh
33. JOSEPH ESTRADA – vou vou!!


alexa-may

Ryan Bang never fails to make Pinoys laugh. =)

 

Father or Mother?

A Ryan Bang and a DJ conversation.

Ryan: Because in Korea, girls only like only handsome guys.

DJ: You’re handsome. You’re handsome.

Ryan: Yeah, my mom said I’m handsome. But my father said, “Honestly Ryan, you are not handsome.” So I know I’m not lily handsome now.

DJ: So, who do you believe now, your mother or your father?

Ryan: I want to believe my mother, but uhmm my father gave me more money, so I have to believe my father.

Mokong. Ang konverseyshon na walang patutunguhan.

Isang makumlimlim na umaga ng Lunes, nisipan ni goyo na bigyan ako ng konting mga katanungan na gagamitin niya sa isang article. Ginamit niya ang facebook sa kalokohang ito. =) LOL. Narito ang naging kasagutan ng isang mokong. Warning: Reader's discretion is advised!

 

Between You and Alexis Goyo

Alexis Goyo September 13 at 10:22am
1. Kung ikaw ay magiging isang hayop sa loob ng isang araw, bakit kabayo ang pinili mo?

2. May lumabas na genie, pwede kang humiling as usual. Kaya lang, ang hiling lang e magiging item ka ng pinaka-crush mong babae, bakit panty ang pinili mo?

3. Sa huling katanungan, kung may isang bagay kang pinagsisisihan na ginawa mo sa buhay mo (maliit man o malaki), ano ito at pano ito nakaapekto sa buhay mo? 
 

Nass C. Padilla September 13 at 10:47am
1. Tangina, wala bang ibang choice? Kung ako magiging kabayo, tatakbo ako ng tatakbo papalayo mula sa kinaroroonan ko. Hanggang sa maubos ang isang araw. Anak ka nang, ikaw ba naman maging kabayo sa loob ng isang araw, malamng pinagtawanan na ako ng mga barkada ko, imbis na nag-iinuman kami. Tas di rin ako makakapag-tumblr dahil wala akong daliri para hawakan ang mouse. Baka atakihin din ang nanay ko kapag may nakita siyang kabayo sa kusina, gastos pa yun sa ospital. Tapos kapag natapos na isang araw, pupuntahan ko si goyo (no-brip) sabay dadagukan!

2. Alam na lam mo likaw ng bituka ko hayop ka! Sino ba namang lalaki ang ayaw maging panty ng crush niya? Bukos sa malalanghap mo ang halimuyak niyang taglay, ikaw pa ang siyang magpoprotekta sa kanya mula sa masasamang elemento galing sa labas ng kanyang emperyo. Pwera lang kung naka-red flg siya, pucha, dusa!

3. Naks, sumesryoso, haha. Parang pamilyar ang katanungang ito nampots. Good evening Las Vegas!!! Hahahaha! Tangina ka! Hindi kagaya ni Ms Philippines na walang major major mistake sa buhay, ako marami. Maliit at malaki. Isa sa pinagsisisihan ko ng labis ay ang hindi ko pagsisisi. Marami na akong naging mga pagkakamali pero natuto akong wag magsisi. Masarap ang mabuhay, hindi dahil lamang sa maganda ang nagiging takbo nito pero dahil na rin sa mga pagkakataong nadadapa tayo. Sa kaso ko na ilang beses na rin halos sumuko sa buhay, napatunayan kong doon ako naging matatag bilang tao. Gaya nga ng paniniwala ko, hindi magiging matibay ang isang espada kapag hindi ito nagdaan sa pagpapanday na kung saan kelangang lusawin ito sa apoy, pagpupukpukin at hahasain. Ganun ang nangyari sa akin. Kenailangan kong magdaan muna sa matinding pagsubok upang marating ko ang kinaroroonan ko ngayon. Ano nga ba ang kinaroroonan ko ngayon? Wala, tambay, painom inom, patumblr tumblr, pa blog-blog, pasagot sagot sa katanungan ni no brip. Kaya nga ako nagsisisi dahil di ako marunong magsisi eh haha. Pero lubos ang kaligayahan ko, dahil sa pamamagitan ng tumblr, nagkakaroon ako ng buhay. Dahil sa tumblr, lumawak ang span ng circle of friends ko, though virtual na maituturing, masasabi ko namang tunay at busilak ang mga kalooban ng taong naniniwala sa akin. =) Isa ka na roon no-brip (goyo) na natagpuan kong halos kapareho ko ng ugali. Walang bahid ng pagka-holy sa katawan pero nakakaligaya naman. =)